A beautiful depiction of one young ladies struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
OCD and Me
Same record playing again
in my head.
Trying to find the off button
but to no avail.
Seems like it’ll have to be today’s
theme music once again.
Let out a disappointed-but-not-surprised
sigh.
Attempt to ignore deafening ache
between my ears.
The one only I can hear.
Still can’t figure out how to turn it off,
we carry on.
Pick up a glass, water fills it,
drink.
Put it down.
Pick it up. Put it down.
Pick it up.
Put it down. Stop. Move away.
Okay now I can go.
Exit the area.
Then a cloud out of hiding, shadows
over my head.
I freeze mid motion like a robot who’s
battery just died.
Dread fills my being.
Something doesn’t feel right. What?
“Did I repeat that enough?
Did I touch it properly?
Did I neutralize those thoughts correctly?
Did I forget something?”
Like boiling milk, the bubbles
under the surface begin to rise.
Would I get to the
stove in time to stop it ruining
the hob?
Or will my anxiety completely boil up
and blanket over onto the
floor?
A choice presents
itself then.
Much like every move I make.
Every thing I touch.
Every thought I think.
To go back or not to go -
that is the question.
Even Willy Shakespeare
can’t lessen the
turmoil of this moment.
Do I
Don’t I
Back
Forth
This way
That.
That records still playing.
Now heavy percussions
entered.
Cymbals crash
Drums beat down
4 additional tracks have
been added.
Now it’s a completely
unharmonious
out of sync
chaotic
disarray of obnoxious screaming illegible chatter.
Before I knew it
I find myself at the glass again.
“Just once” was my mantra.
We all know that
didn’t happen.
One turns into 5.
Then a wave poured over me.
Down came the volume.
Somehow managed
to only have minor spillage to the stove.
The tide pulled back
into a dangerous but not
critical level.
But at what cost?
The reinforcement of
illogical behavior
and beliefs.
Digging
deeper into the groove of
a nasty habit.
“But at least I feel
safe now right?”
Momentarily. Until
the next time.
Like a contraction.
Seconds or minutes apart
and we play this game
all over
again.
About the Author

My name is Sabrine and I’m a 23 year old blogger and poet living in London with anorexia and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder who uses my platforms to try and raise awareness of mental health, help others through sharing my struggles and also share my poetry.
Instagram: www.instagram.com/Edmyjourneyocd
Website: www.edmyjourneyocd.wordpress.com
Appeal: https://sabrineelouali.threadless.com
A Note From Our Host
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is often confused with being really organized and clean. This is entirely untrue!
Those with OCD have a combinations of obsessions, such as intrusive thought, and compulsions, such as repeated behavior, that can greatly impact everyday life. Those with OCD usually use a combination of medication and therapy in order to cope with this disorder. Even then everyday activities can be a challenge.
Making light of this disorder with phrases like “I’m so OCD” makes light of a serious disorder and reinforces misinformation and stereotypes. These in turn become harmful to those seeking help or looking to be understood and respected for their disorder.
Please be mindful of your language and do your part to reeducate those around you.
See more from our host Serene Life Consulting Here!
This captures OCD so well, I have it and AN too and it was a bit like reading the inside of my head sometimes! Thank you for sharing x
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Beautiful poem. Sabrina is a talented poet. Thank you for sharing.
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Beautiful poem that complete encapsulates the OCD experience. The anxiety is very much like boiling milk or water, starting slow with doubts that become a certainty in just minutes. Wishing Sabrine health and light on her journey to recovery from OCD 💖 From one OCD survivor to another, it can be tamed!
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Wow, I like how the poem gave a rhythm to OCD. Sabrine’s message about thinking about out language is powerful!
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Sabrine, your poem so beautifully illustrates your experience with OCD. For someone like me, who has never experienced OCD, your poem makes it more tangible.
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An excellent poem that gives life to a subject that a lot of people simply don’t understand or just dismiss. A really interesting read.
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Learned a new stuff… Thank you
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That cycle is all too familiar.
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Wow what a beautiful depiction of OCD – I really feel it through those words. It’s such a painful MH disorder and one I’ve been diagnosed with since I was 15. It was debilitating to say the least and is so hard to live with. I have tic disorder too and it’s so similar in motion to this poem. Thank you so much for this fantastic addition!
Keep going!
Stay wonderful!
Louna | Burstsofautumn
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It’s true (and it’s sad) that a lot of people think that being clean and organized already means they have OCD–but there’s so much more about OCD. Beautiful poem, I learned a lot more about OCD.
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The poem is Beautifully inscribed Sabrina! Wishing you health and love on this journey to healing from OCD. I realized a lot from this. Much love❤
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Wow! This is a beautiful poem. The imagery is so vivid and striking. Thank you for sharing, and I wish Sabrina well on her healthy journey!
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Such a perfect depiction of OCD in words! Truly amazing!
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